Tips for Having Kids at a Home Birth: How to Involve Siblings in the Birth Process
- Annie Kuntz
- Apr 16
- 4 min read
When planning a home birth, it’s common for parents to consider how they’ll involve other children in the birth experience. For many families, having older siblings present at the home birth can be a deeply meaningful and empowering experience for everyone involved. At Attuned Midwifery, we believe that home births are an opportunity to create a family-centered experience where everyone feels included and supported. If you’re considering having your children present at your home birth, it’s important to carefully plan and prepare for the experience to ensure everyone’s emotional and physical needs are met. Here are some essential tips for having kids at a home birth, helping you make the experience as positive and comfortable as possible for your growing family.
1. Assess Whether It’s Right for Your Family
Before deciding to have your children present, it’s important to consider whether they are emotionally ready for the experience. Home births are intimate, and labor can be intense, so make sure you talk with your kids beforehand about what they can expect. Some children may be excited to be involved, while others may feel overwhelmed by the sights, sounds, and emotions of birth.
Ask yourself: Does your child have a calm, curious personality, or are they more sensitive to loud noises and unexpected events? Will they feel comfortable in a home setting with family and friends around? Understanding your child's temperament will help you decide whether having them present is the right choice for your family.
2. Prepare Your Children in Advance
Education is key when preparing kids for a home birth. The more they understand what’s happening, the more they will feel comfortable and confident. Here are a few ideas to help prepare them:
Read books together: There are many great books about birth that can help explain the process in a child-friendly way. Some popular titles include "The Big Book of Birth" by Alexandra Penfold and "Waiting for Baby" by Rachel Fuller.
Watch videos: Age-appropriate videos about home birth can help children visualize the process and get comfortable with the idea of birth at home.
Have open discussions: Talk to your children about what they will see, hear, and experience. Let them ask questions and answer as honestly as you can, ensuring that you reassure them throughout the process.
3. Create a Comfortable and Supportive Environment
It’s important to create a safe and comfortable space for your children during the birth process. Designate a quiet area where they can relax, play, or be entertained if they become overwhelmed. Consider having toys, books, or even a favorite TV show to distract them during labor if they need a break from the intensity of the experience. If you want them to be present for specific moments, such as meeting the baby after birth or supporting you during labor, make sure there’s a designated "birth team" or trusted family member ready to step in to care for them when needed. This ensures that both your children and your birth team are well-supported.
4. Plan for the Birth’s Emotional Impact
While having older children present at a home birth can be a beautiful experience, it's important to understand that the birth process may have a lasting emotional impact on your children. The intensity of labor, the sounds, and even the sight of blood can be overwhelming. Here are a few tips for minimizing any emotional distress:
Talk about your feelings: Be sure to explain how you’re feeling in the lead-up to the birth and that it’s natural to feel excited, nervous, or anxious.
Prepare for emotional reactions: It’s normal for kids to have strong emotions during the home birth process. Be prepared to validate their feelings and offer comfort when needed.
Include them in the postpartum process: After the baby is born, invite your children to meet the new sibling and help with gentle tasks such as bringing diapers or helping with baby care. This will foster positive bonding.
5. Have a Supportive Birth Team
Having your children at a home birth means you’ll need additional support, so make sure your birth team includes people who can assist with both your labor and the care of your older children. This may include a doula, a friend, or family members who are comfortable with the idea of helping with child care while also supporting you during labor. At Attuned Midwifery, we offer personalized midwifery care, and we can help guide you through preparing your kids for the experience. Your birth team will be ready to step in to ensure that your children feel cared for, while you receive the support you need during labor.
6. Discuss Safety and Backup Plans
While having your children at a home birth can be a rewarding experience, it’s important to have contingency plans in place to ensure everyone’s safety and comfort. Discuss any concerns with your midwife in advance, and ensure you have an emergency plan in place in case of unexpected events. It’s crucial that everyone feels at ease with the safety measures in place.
If you feel like your children may need a break or need to leave the birth space at any time, have a trusted family member or friend ready to take them elsewhere. This way, you can remain focused on your birth while ensuring your children are well cared for.
7. Respect Your Children’s Needs During Labor
If your children are present during the labor process, be mindful of their emotional needs. Some children may want to be involved in every step, while others may need to leave the room during certain moments. Respect their boundaries and allow them to come and go as they feel comfortable. Your midwife and birth team can help guide you in creating a flow that supports everyone’s wellbeing.
Having your children present at your home birth can be an incredibly meaningful experience for your family. At Attuned Midwifery, we understand that each family is unique, and we’re here to help guide you in making the right decision for your family’s needs. Whether you choose to have your children present during labor or involve them in postpartum care, we’re here to support you in creating a positive birth experience for everyone. If you’re planning a home birth and are considering having your children involved, contact Attuned Midwifery today to learn more about how we can help you prepare for an empowering and family centered birth experience.
